What is Therapy? Musings from India

As I sit in a hospital room with my dad, having traveled several thousand miles to get here so that I can be here with him through his surgical journey, I find myself having a lot of time to think. Strangely, one of the things I find myself thinking about is therapy. I thought I had left my therapist self behind when I boarded the plane to come here – but one of the strange paradoxes of travel is that you can never leave yourself, or even a part of yourself, behind. Wherever you go, there you are!

So, being in a hospital, and hearing the word “therapy” or “treatment” getting thrown around a lot, I start to wonder – what exactly is therapy, and what exactly is it that I do? It is a simple question that I have been asked innumerable times, perfectly innocently, by many a friend or acquaintance, “So, what do you do?” It occurs to me that the reason I dread answering this question is because there is no simple answer.

Therapy is many things to many people. It is a place to talk to someone objective. It is a place people hope to find relief from their problems, and get some answers from someone they deem an “expert.” It is a place to vent safely. I believe therapy is all these things and more. But, in my musings, one thing stands out. Therapy is a space created by therapist and client, where one can be heard, but more importantly, one can hear oneself.

I do believe there is some benefit to be gained by going to someone who is “expert” at creating this type of space. There is also the benefit of going to a professional who is trained to provide a more objective and comprehensive, point of view. We all have our blind spots. Sometimes a therapist will give “homework” that can be incredibly helpful (if done). However, I believe that an essential component of that “therapy hour” is the space that is created for a client to hear their own voice and get in touch with their inner wisdom.

This space that is co-created by therapist and client is a dynamic space, where many possibilities exist. For a couple facing challenges in their relationship, this could provide an opportunity for dialogue that was not possible before. For others, the therapy space can simply help access the quiet space within, where problems can be reframed and unique solutions to situations can be found.

Alas, I have still not found a simple answer to the question, “so, what exactly is it that you do?” but in reflecting, I believe I have hit upon what it is that makes psychotherapy a unique way of finding solutions to our problems.

Meditation and Mental Health

Meditation. Many ideas and opinions exist about this ancient, mind altering, self-healing practice. It is often dismissed as that  “new age stuff,” or “that mystical stuff from the East (that you read about in Eat Pray Love).” 

In common parlance it may also be known as “hocus pocus.” This was the attitude of one our meditation group members, when she first decided to attend a group. She was not going to fall for it, but because she didn’t want to say no to her therapist, she came anyway. Much to her surprise it worked! Much like the 10 million Americans who meditate regularly, she came to recognize and value the benefits of this stress-relieving practice.

One of the things this group member has learned is that meditation can be practiced in a variety of ways. It does not necessarily involve sitting in a cross-legged position for hours on end, observing your breath in hopes of fleetingly experiencing that “aha” moment. Even 10 minutes of mindfulness meditation a day can make a difference. Moreover, there are also other, more active, techniques such as candle concentration, walking meditation, energy work, and guided visualizations.

This year, in our meditation series, we learned and practiced many such techniques. You get a lot of “bang for your buck” (by practicing these techniques) as one group member is fond of saying. While that may sound like crass commercialization of an ancient mystical practice, in my mind it does not reduce the value of meditation at all. All it means is that we can learn to use these techniques in a way that can be incorporated into our daily lives, and by doing so we can gain unique skills that do not require a large amount of time to practice. The regular use of meditation techniques can not only help in reducing anxiety and improving mood, but also reduce the negative effects that stress has on the body. Beyond stress reduction, multiple positive effects have been documented such as enhanced immune functioning, increased alertness, greater creativity, and enhanced empathy.

Next year’s plans for a meditation group are in the works. There are several options, including another series (4-6 group meetings), a day long retreat, a week long retreat (in India), and ongoing meetings to continue support and encouragement for each other’s meditation practice. Tell us of your interest and what might suit your lifestyle. What if the hocus pocus really is what it’s all about…