The Gift of Counseling

If you have become aware of the need to seek outside help for yourself or a family member, you may be intimidated by the seemingly high cost of seeking personal counseling. In these times of economic stress, when all but our most immediate needs can be put on the back burner for lack of funds or the desire to save for a rainy day, the issue of cost becomes even more pertinent.  However, much as leaving a cavity unfilled can later become a larger problem, perhaps even requiring a root canal, emotional issues left unresolved can grow into a situation requiring more extensive (and expensive) intervention. It’s often wiser to meet the problem head-on while still in the early stages.  If the early stages have passed, there are still ways to get this help without losing your retirement savings. Some simple strategies can help you pay for the help while getting a bang for your buck.

To find out what counseling would cost you, the first place to start looking is your health insurance policy. Mental health benefits are provided by most major insurance companies. Your policy should tell you what benefits you have, and give you an idea of your out-of-pocket costs. Next you want to call your insurance company and get a list of counseling providers in your area. Much like doctors, you will probably pay less by going to a mental health professional who is “in-network” for your insurance company. While you are on the phone, it’s also a good idea to verify your benefits with an actual person.

Let’s say your insurance does not pay for counseling, or worse yet, have lost your job and insurance with it. Have courage! Many agencies have a sliding fee scale. You can get this information by calling your local Community Mental Health office. If you would rather seek out a specific therapist by referral or reputation, call their office and ask to speak briefly with the therapist on the phone before setting up an appointment. While on the phone, find out about any special fee rates they might offer. In fact, call a few different counselors to get an idea of who you think you might want to see, before paying a dime. Often the counselor who is the “best fit” for you can also be the most cost-effective, even if their fees are not discounted.

Continuing this proactive approach once you begin counseling can also result in significant cost savings, and ultimately make counseling affordable. For instance, go prepared for your first visit having thought about the specific information you want to share and the goals you would like to accomplish. Ask if the therapist assigns “homework” outside of the therapy hour. Doing recommended assignments can often shorten the course of treatment. Ask if you can call your therapist for a brief consult between sessions. Go prepared for every session, having thought through what you would like to share about the time in between sessions. In other words, make the most use of the time that you are paying for, and the fees….well, they won’t magically disappear, but you’ll certainly be getting your money’s worth.

This holiday season, consider giving the gift of counseling to yourself or a family member. Remember counseling could be the gift of a lifetime, or maybe even the gift of life itself.  In many cities the Chamber of Commerce sells gift certificates for use at local member businesses. Call you local Chamber of Commerce to see if gift certificates are available for the practice where you want to seek help.

The Reality of Student Stress

 Student stress is real and Saline Area School has been taking new initiatives to attend to it. A second community Screening of Race to Nowhere was held in Saline on Thursday December 1^st.
 

What do a Saline High School Climate Assessment, a Saline High School leadership retreat, and the film Race to Nowhere have in common? All of these seek to identify and find answers to a growing concern about student stress. Plus, all three events have happened in Saline recently. It is also of significance that all three have been sponsored by Saline Area Schools, which in addition to the goal of academic excellence is also taking a genuine interest in the overall well-being of its students.

The SHS climate assessment was completed in February 2011, via 8 focus groups of a cross section of SHS students and 2 trained facilitators from Still Waters Counseling. The results were delivered in April 2011 to the School Board. Students at SHS indeed feel a great deal of stress in many areas – academic, social, and personal. They want the school to be a warmer place, with more personal connections, and to have more adults they can turn to for help. This is a tall order, given the current economic climate and funding cuts from the state. Nevertheless, Saline Schools has responded to the needs expressed.

The Saline High School Leadership Retreat was held on November 17^th - a powerful event for the Saline community. Approximately 40 high schoolers, from several different student groups, got together at Liberty Media Center and attended a dynamic workshop on Servant Leadership. This was followed by discussion of common high school scenarios generated by students themselves. The topics were derived from a desire to seriously discuss bullying, stereotyping, and intolerance in any shape or form at the high school, and come away with specific ways to address them. To make the school one where every student feels safe and respected is a difficult challenge, yet this would be one step closer to reducing a major source of stress in high school. Student leaders at the Nov 17^th retreat seemed glad to embrace this task.

A brand new CDC study reporting on teen sleeping habits shows that 70% of high school students do not get at least eight hours of sleep on school nights. This statistic will probably not surprise any of the students at Saline High School, or any parent of a student at SHS. Between academics, extra-curriculars and part-time jobs, where is the time for 8 hours of sleep a night? Alarmingly, however, this new study also shows that teens with poor sleep habits are likely to take other risks associated with their health like consuming alcohol, using marijuana and tobacco products, and exhibiting poor eating habits. Now maybe those teens that sleep less are also the ones who would have engaged in negative behaviors anyway, but it does make sense that these negative habits could be a result of having to cope with a lot of stress.  

So should we be paying attention to the degree of stress students feel? Let’s consider these statistics: approximately 1 in 12 adolescents, ages 12 to 17, will experience a major depressive episode (SAMHSA, 2008). Moreover, almost 17 percent of high school students have seriously considered suicide, 16.5% have made suicide plans, and 8.5% had tried to kill themselves at least once (CDC, 2003). The film Race to Nowhere, screened once already at Saline High School, clearly depicts the link between stress and negative coping behaviors. A second screening is being held on December 1^st at Saline Middle School. A community discussion will follow. I say, yes, let’s pay attention to what our students are saying, let’s pay attention to student stress, and let’s all pay attention to our students’ needs – parents, teachers, administrators, and community members alike.

Student Stress: What Drives it and What can be Done

The film Race to Nowhere was screened at our very own Saline High School last night (October 13th). As a parent and as a psychologist who practices in Saline I felt this was a very significant event in the Saline Community. The film talks about the experiences of (primarily) school age children across the country and the stress they experience as they get into higher grades, and especially into high school. University educators, high school teachers, students, parents, psychologists all provide unique perspectives.

We have known about student stress for a long time. None of this is really new information. The power of the screening, however, is in bringing communities together to start this discussion, and this is what started to happen last night at Saline High School.

In a powerful exchange, one student in the film talks about how parents should not use the word “and” when a student is describing their accomplishments. For instance, “I’m getting straight A’s,” “and?” “I’m on the soccer team,” “and?” “I’m in National Honor Society,” “and?” “I’m in the marching band,” “and?”… The word “and” added on to the end of each accomplishment, basically diminishes the sense of accomplishment, and makes the student feel that they need to do more and more to “win the race.”

I would like to add that the words “but” and “should” also need to be avoided in a conversation with a school age child. When a child reaches out to a parent (or anyone else), all too often we start to minimize their feelings and offer solutions, saying things like “but think about it this way...” or “you should just....”

As some of the astute students pointed out last night, many are reluctant to talk about their stress and some don’t engage in this conversation at all, hiding it even from themselves. When our child does muster up the courage to come and talk with us, are we truly listening? If you find yourself using words like “but” and “should,” the answer is, probably not. Being listened to and heard is what many students really need. And, if you child or student is not speaking with you about the stress they are experiencing, don’t be afraid to initiate this conversation yourself.

As a parent, I know it is difficult. Our family has not been without struggles and we have, many a time, found ourselves being caught up in the race. As pointed out by a doctor from Philadelphia’s Children’s Hospital in the film, despite being an expert and even having written books about it, he struggles not to pressure his child constantly to achieve more and more. Even when we know the right thing to do, often it is hard to do the right thing. That is why I feel it essential that the discussion on student stress not end with last night’s screening of Race to Nowhere.

If you are a student, parent, educator, or simply a concerned community member, there are many ways you can become part of this conversation and keep it going. You can join a group like STRIVE (Students Re-investing in a Valuable Education) that brought this film to Saline High. You can join a group like Saline Alive (the Saline Area Schools Community Mental Health Committee) that highlights issues of stress, anxiety, and depression. You can also come to School Board meetings and speak about this issue. You can write to the local media and ask them to highlight this issue. You can organize another screening of Race to Nowhere in the community and invite others to come. If you live in a community other than Saline, you can talk with your school administrators about screening this film. The issue is complex and no one group or individual can come up with the answers. Action steps need to be thought out and implemented cohesively in order to have a real impact. Please do our students a favor and do not allow this discussion to end with last night’s screening. In the words of Styx, “don’t let it end this way”….